Archive for June, 2011

Magnifying Mirror on the Wall, Who is the Hairiest of them All
June 28, 2011

According to my eye doctor, reading glasses are needed around ages 42-44. I was 46 when the number 6 and 8 started looking the same. I suddenly found it too dark in every restaurant to read the menu. I believe my eye doctor because he told me I got a 4 year pass and my family has been supporting him and his family for years.  So here is the question, how do you see to put on your eye make-up? Do you buy a magnifying mirror?

Magnifying mirrors are very mean. They show every pore, wayward hair and line on your face. The regular bathroom mirror is much more forgiving, but we of the farsightedness just cannot get close enough to put on make-up. We have all tried putting on face make-up and then taking off the glasses to put on the eye make-up, only to re-apply once we look into the magnifier.

One of the side effects of menopause is hair thins on our head and sprouts more on our upper lip and chin. Did Disney cast that wicked stepmother correctly, or was the poor woman just menopausal and with-out reading glass or a magnifying mirror?

  There are magnifying mirrors that light up. I hear that women with poor lighting or no natural lighting in their bathroom really find these mirrors helpful. This may be true but I would never give a friend a magnifying mirror, even a zoom deluxe lighted model as a gift. On the other hand how many girlfriends have made pacts with each other about the long chin hair that suddenly appears? That pact is, “I will tell you or pluck it off your chin, upper lip or wherever if you cannot do it or see it yourself!”  Spouses or partners may mean well but a true girlfriend will do the work, once of course she puts on her readers.

Are you in a love-hate relationship with your magnifying mirror?

Now if you see the old ladies with lipstick way above their lips and blush waves heading south on their cheeks are you more sympathetic?

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The Obsolete Phone Book
June 20, 2011

I remember the first time I went to my computer to look up a phone number instead of looking in the phone book. I was surprised that I did it because I had stacked next to my desk 7 phone books, city, county, business and residential from 2 different phone service suppliers. The phone books are delivered to my door by literally running day laborers hauling plastic bagged phone books out from the back of a pick-up truck.

I know how expensive an ad in the yellow pages costs a business. Over the years I have enjoyed looking through the yellow pages for restaurants, dry cleaners, and so much more. But now the only function 2 phone books do is raise the height of my printer. Do people still use a set of phone books on the chair for a small child to be able to sit and reach at the grown-up table?

Is there something in the phone book that my computer can’t tell me? How can I stop the delivery? Are the yellow page ads still a viable marketing expense? I have noticed on the cover page some business have a magnet to peel off or a coupon. These businesses are usually auto repair or furnace repair, movers, or insurance agents. Good to know, but I don’t need those numbers or coupon handy.

Pay phones are obsolete too. Even if you do find one, to find one with an attached phonebook is very rare. A friend of mine who does geocaching says that pay phones because of their obscurity are prime locations for leaving clues. When asked about phonebooks also as a clue catcher she said no because they can be moved too easily even if they are chained to the phone booth.

I recycle my phone books so they really are not a total waste of paper. I hope that they will be composted into something more timely.  So what daily things or obsolete practices have you changed in your life over the last few years? Who has a good use for a phone book before I throw them into the recycling bin?

 

 

The Perfect World of FaceBook
June 14, 2011

When you are trolling on Facebook does it appear that all your FaceBook friends have better lives than you? From their pictures, do they look younger and happier than you? Do pictures of their children look better than yours? Does even their FaceBook status sound more interesting than yours? Are they liars? Is FaceBook Reminding you of Hi-School?  Is FaceBook Depressing You?

FaceBook is controlled unlike life. Who is going to post bad pictures? OK someone may but you can make them take them down with threats. FaceBook is like an airbrushed life. Why not mention you or your partner got a PHD, but leave out that it was achieved over 25 years. Have a second home in the South of France? No I can’t use it because it really belongs to your sister-in-law as her permanent residence.

You would only know about the French home if you interacted with your FaceBook friends. You are a FaceBook voyeur if you only read about your friends but don’t interact. You know where they are going on vacation, and then look at their vacation pictures with-out ever anyone knowing. What’s wrong with a vicarious vacation thrill? Nothing really but why not at least click a “Like”?

A new baby arrival is broadcast with-in the hour of birth with pictures from the new parents, grandparents, and friends. A wedding or divorce with pictures is posted as it occurs. New job or loss of a job, sickness and death are all posted quickly on FaceBook. It can be overwhelming to some but to others a way to keep in touch even if the touch is just the knowledge. I did not read the post from a friend (one that I actually see) that her Father had passed away with funeral details. I felt terrible that I missed not only the funeral but sending if only with a “comment” my condolences. I learned my lesson and now I troll my (actual) Facebook friends’ posts on a regular basis.

Certain age groups write different posts on FaceBook. 20-30 year olds write posts about thrills, achievements, sports and activities. Some of these activities are the reasons why this age group does not want their parents as friends. 30 and 40 year olds write post about daily life while trying to be cryptic. Some post about being hungry and eating and climate temperature and of course deep random thoughts. Still others post about kids and jobs and more social and political causes. And lastly those 50+ year olds write posts about their vacations, funny or interesting articles or videos and lots and lots and lots of pictures.

Are you a FaceBook Voyeur? Have I made you feel guilty about not giving a “Like” or “Comment”? I did post pictures of adorable cats. Don’t make me post adorable baby pictures too!

 

 

 

Top 5 Reasons Menopause is Misunderstood and What People Think It Is
June 6, 2011

 5. Not everyone else in the world is experiencing menopause with you so they have no idea about your symptoms. They think you have gone bonkers, crazy, weird, odd, off your rocker or all the above. Is it a disease state like a thyroid condition? No it is Menopause.

 4. Men don’t experience menopause. If they want to explain some different or reactionary behavior, they chalk it up to a ‘mid life crisis’.  That does sound so much better especially when he tosses aside  the first wife and children and marries a woman 20 years younger than him because she, wait for it, ‘makes him feel young’! Is it a mid life crisis? Are you like your male friends and experiencing a mid life crisis also? No it is Menopause.

 3. The kids are gone (or so you hope) and you are left with the spouse, partner, dog or cat. You have worked 25 or 30 years at your profession. According to your friends, co-workers, spouse, partner or kids you are acting different. Is it Empty Nest Syndrome? Looking forward/dreading Retirement? No it is Menopause.

 2. Are you more outspoken, or more opinionated than you used to be? Do you have a more devil may care attitude. Do you lose interest quickly if your kids, friends, spouse or partner don’t succinctly come to the point about what they are talking about?  Are you suffering from some attention deficit disorder?           No it is menopause.      

1. DENIAL. Yes denial is the number one reason, #1, Numero Uno; The reason menopause is misunderstood by everyone. All women think they are too young, too healthy or too busy and that it just won’t happen to them. Living in a state of denial can really blindside you stupid. Estrogen diminishes, menopause happens, get a grip and get with the program! It is MENOPAUSE.

Back Talk Welcome!

 

 

Are You A Bad Guest????
June 1, 2011

 Is your summer calendar looking sparse? Do you have friends and family with boats and summer homes or Mountain cabins yet you never seem to get an invite? Are there summer parties and bar-b-ques that you aren’t invited to anymore? Ask yourself honestly the following questions:

1. Do you stay longer than 3 nights? You know the saying;”Fish and houseguests start to smell after 3 days”.

2. Do you ever host a gathering, party, Thanksgiving or Christmas feast at your home?

You do know the excuses that your house is too small or that you don’t have the time, NO ONE Believes? You do realize you are only getting an invitation because you are a family member? Does that explain why everyone is aloof to you?

3. Do you ask what you can bring to a potluck, dinner or party invitation and then don’t bring it?

How many Thanksgiving dinners have gone with-out rolls because you forgot? It’s rolls for Pete’s Sake!

4. Have you ever brought something for a potluck and surveyed the table and put your contribution back into your car? You know we did see you do it!

5. Have you ever brought a frozen vegetable in the plastic bag with-out a dish to heat or serve it in?

 Have you ever brought a dish that you needed to cut up, mix and assemble with-out a serving dish, knife, peeler or baking tray?

 Have you ever been asked to bring an appetizer but arrive an hour late?

Have you ever brought your kids with their friends?

Have you ever drunk too much and got too familiar, obnoxious or sick?

Have you ever brought your pet?

You know we notice all of this and you are still wondering why you aren’t invited more often?

Here are some suggestions to blaze the trail to become a good guest:

Summer is a great time to reciprocate hospitality.

Get off your hiney, stop making excuses and learn to be gracious!

Start with family. Invite them for dinner and ask them to bring NOTHING.

Don’t want to clean your home than take them out to dinner or brunch and pick up the tab.

Tell them you are doing this to make up for all the times they hosted you.

Now repeat with friends.

Grow up and become a ‘Mench’ and maybe your calendar will fill up with invitations for next year!