The question is when is it acceptable to cry in the work place?
A friend of mine has told me she is just about menopausal and she is having emotional surges like her teenagers. She is crying more frequently, and being very short tempered. While her teenagers are quick to get over their outbursts, she still reels from her own for hours. The crying is the most troublesome and hardest to hide. How many times, does my friend tell me, can she say it’s just allergies? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying
I have been at meetings when the subject of death is addressed when one in our group has lost a husband, wife or child to disease or suicide. A collective tearing up in these circumstances is totally acceptable. I have noticed however, that many of the men remained stoic. Crying makes people feel uncomfortable, especially in my experience, men people.
I have seen co-workers make harsh comments to one another in meetings. Sometimes the recipient of the unkind words is stunned into silence, like a slap. Sometimes another co-worker comes to the defense and it turns into a verbal brawl. I have seen pounding on tables, throwing back chairs, standing up and shouting, throwing papers, ripping charts off walls, and getting red in the face, but I have never seen a man reduced to tears. I am not saying this is good or bad, it is just an interesting observation from my 30 years in the drenches of corporate America.
I used to work with a woman who cried frequently at meetings. It was a tough company, we were in sales, and you were expected to exceed your sales goals to keep your job. Men were the bosses and morale was not a consideration. Over the ten years I knew this woman, she cried at meetings when she was criticized, or when she was praised. She also cried at the Christmas party, and when she had too much to drink. In short she was a crier. In the ten years we worked together she maintained her job but she was not advanced, viewed as not able to handle pressure, and not being able to negotiate with difficult people. I heard others throw around the word ‘Drama Queen’ when referring to her. I know many did not want to work with her because she was disruptive with her crying. Crying elicits a need to comfort for many people. It is difficult to concentrate on work if you are busy comforting the crying person. It is also difficult to ignore a crying person and stay on task. Looking back, I think she may have been PMS, post pregnancy, or peri-menopausal. Her hormones may have been running amok, or it was just part of her personality. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying_(song)
I think we have all had moments when we tear up in frustration or hurt feelings.
Not one condition or reason can be attributed to why a woman cries at work more than a man. I think a host of reasons trigger crying, menopause or hormone changes may just be some of the mix.
The conclusion I have reached is that it doesn’t do any one any good including the crier to cry at work. Go to the rest room, or walk outside your building, go to your car or someplace alone. Excuse yourself. Crying appears to be in the same genre as bawdy jokes. They can make some people feel uncomfortable, and give an air of an unprofessional demeanor. Don’t let your career be jeopardized by a few tears. No crying at Work!
What is your opinion?
the UK with the drug Olaparib, from pharmaceutical company AstraZeneca, is showing promise in shrinking and stopping tumor growth.
your self with breast cancer? Can you grasp what it must have been like to watch your tumor grow and not be able to get treatments? Dr. Jerri Nielsen lived through this as a physician at the South Pole, but passed away recently from breast cancer 10 years after she diagnosed herself.
menopause. Researchers were initially looking at potential damage to women exposed to certain chemicals. Chemicals involved with manufacturing rubber tires, polyester and plastics in nontoxic doses turned out to be the key to mouseopause. Who would have thought that a discovery with menopause could help with world hunger!
Everyone or almost everyone knows that menopause can cause bone loss which can lead to osteoporosis. Some people, women in particular who are slim, small boned, Caucasian and blue eyed may be more prone to osteoporosis. Chemotherapy is notorious for causing bone loss as a side effect.
Summer is here and with the economy and energy conscious measures, it means a very hot summer for many. Women who are having hot flashes are already challenged from the heat. They are having their own personal summer everyday, no need to exasperate it with 80º temperatures and humidity. The question to be answered is how to stay cool, and look cool while at work or play. Here are my suggestions:
Last week I was in the post office parking lot, gathering my packages together in my car when I heard a big crunch. I looked out my rear window and saw that two cars had backed up opposite each other at the same time and Crunch! Both drivers appeared to be middle age women. One car moved and re-parked next to the other car. The women then got out of their cars and started to exchange information.
No one knows the cause or the cure. The only known causes of breast cancer are too many birthdays and being a woman. Every woman is shocked when she hears that diagnosis. I know I was. I couldn’t understand how I could have a fast growing life threatening disease when I felt great. Not until I started my treatments did I feel sick. Last week the NY Times ran a story with a teaser headline under the picture of an obvious cancer patient, “Non-smoking, vegetarian who exercised was shocked when told she had Breast Cancer”. This is a tough story for this woman because after treatments her cancer returned. For those of us familiar with breast cancer, that is what it does, it comes back. There is no cure for breast cancer. If eating blueberries, flax seed, walnuts, broccoli and such, and daily exercise was really the preventive cure we would see a drop in breast cancer statistics. This is not the case. Cancer is not one disease. Breast cancer may not respond the same way as treatments for another cancer, and varies from individuals. Researchers are always looking for funding from foundations and companies to find a cure. In 1971 Richard Nixon vowed that the United States would find a cure for cancer. 38 years later the Obama administration is vowing to look for cures. I am forever the optimist and would like to see a cure for breast cancer in my lifetime. This administration seems to understand the complexity of cancer and hopefully will make head way for cures or causes. Early detection is great. Healthy life styles are wonderful. The truth however is there is nothing to insure you against breast cancer. Like life, no guarantees, warranties or do-overs. Metastasis breast cancer, no longer a hasty death notice, is cancer that has spread to other parts of the body that can be treated as a chronic condition. Treatments are on going, meaning for the rest of the woman’s life. This is the status of the woman in the NY Times story. I wish her well.