Crying At Work

 

The question is when is it acceptable to cry in the work place?

 

A friend of mine has told me she is just about menopausal and she is having emotional surges like her teenagers. She is crying more frequently, and being very short tempered. While her teenagers are quick to get over their outbursts, she still reels from her own for hours. The crying is the most troublesome and hardest to hide. How many times, does my friend tell me, can she say it’s just allergies? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying

I have been at meetings when the subject of death is addressed when one in our group has lost a husband, wife or child to disease or suicide. A collective tearing up in these circumstances is totally acceptable. I have noticed however, that many of the men remained stoic. Crying makes people feel uncomfortable, especially in my experience, men people.

 

I have seen co-workers make harsh comments to one another in meetings. Sometimes the recipient of the unkind words is stunned into silence, like a slap. Sometimes another co-worker comes to the defense and it turns into a verbal brawl. I have seen pounding on tables, throwing back chairs, standing up and shouting, throwing papers, ripping charts off walls, and getting red in the face, but I have never seen a man reduced to tears. I am not saying this is good or bad, it is just an interesting observation from my 30 years in the drenches of corporate America.

 

I used to work with a woman who cried frequently at meetings. It was a tough company, we were in sales, and you were expected to exceed your sales goals to keep your job. Men were the bosses and morale was not a consideration. Over the ten years I knew this woman, she cried at meetings when she was criticized, or when she was praised. She also cried at the Christmas party, and when she had too much to drink. In short she was a crier. In the ten years we worked together she maintained her job but she was not advanced, viewed as not able to handle pressure, and not being able to negotiate with difficult people. I heard others throw around the word ‘Drama Queen’ when referring to her. I know many did not want to work with her because she was disruptive with her crying. Crying elicits a need to comfort for many people. It is difficult to concentrate on work if you are busy comforting the crying person.  It is also difficult to ignore a crying person and stay on task. Looking back, I think she may have been PMS, post pregnancy, or peri-menopausal. Her hormones may have been running amok, or it was just part of her personality. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying_(song)

 

I think we have all had moments when we tear up in frustration or hurt feelings.

Not one condition or reason can be attributed to why a woman cries at work more than a man. I think a host of reasons trigger crying, menopause or hormone changes may just be some of the mix.

 

The conclusion I have reached is that it doesn’t do any one any good including the crier to cry at work. Go to the rest room, or walk outside your building, go to your car or someplace alone. Excuse yourself. Crying appears to be in the same genre as bawdy jokes. They can make some people feel uncomfortable, and give an air of an unprofessional demeanor. Don’t let your career be jeopardized by a few tears. No crying at Work!

What is your opinion?

 

 

 

Menopause Stardom

Did you ever want to be in the movies? Who hasn’t had a bit of a fantasy to see themselves on the big screen, gorgeous backgrounds, exotic locations, costumes and make-up that make you look like a real live movie star?  Yes fantasies are great.

 

 Reality is more like in the movie Tootsie when they scream “Not too close” for the camera work in shooting Dustin Hoffman as Tootsie. This week I was able to participate in some of the fun of movie making. Hot Flash Havoc, www.hotflashhavoc.com, is the name of the film being made that I am privileged to be a part of. Since it is in documentary style, I am playing myself, a middle age menopausal woman. My naturopathic physician friend Kelly Jennings, www.urbanwellnesspdx.com, is also interviewed and filmed. Kelly treats effectively, and patiently many women with menopause and breast cancer symptoms. She is also young, smart and gorgeous! So my close up is Kelly giving me an acupuncture treatment. Yes indeed, I am the woman in repose with acupuncture needles all over her face, head and neck!

 

I was also interviewed about my story, the breast cancer/menopause/entrepreneur connection. This film has a fantastic concept; educate and entertain about the condition called Menopause. The movie is still in production and I will blog about it again, and again as the release date becomes closer and my close up for stardom nears.

Passionately Pink Pumpkins for The Cure

All Pinky

Komen has a program for the month of October, breast cancer awareness month, for companies to join in fund raising by wearing Pink. www.passionatelypink.org. The goal is to set a date and anyone who wants to wear the Pink in support for the Cure donates at least $5.00.

 

We took this fund raising challenge on a different bent with Passionately Pink Pumpkins for the Cure. We had so many table top pumpkins from our garden that we decided to decorate them with pink boa feathers and sell them as Passionately Pink Pumpkins for the Cure. Of course we wore pink in more of a Halloween/costume theme and had pink lemonade and pink cupcakes, because what is a pink fund raiser with-out pink cake?

 

The response was great and we raised $150.00 from our afternoon efforts. Next year we are planning for bigger response, more lead time and more cupcakes. No guarantee that the garden will produce an abundance of pumpkins again, but we can adapt with Passionately Pink Potatoes for the Cure, or even Passionately Pink Parsley for the Cure. We have a year to passionately plan.

 

My lovely dress was bought at the local Goodwill for $5.95. This was hand sewn and must have been a bride’s maid dress. The puffy sleeves and the bow in the back are the tell tale signs. A friend was looking for a princess dress just like mine to wear at the request of her 2 little boys for Halloween.  I am delighted to loan it to her for the evening because I know how difficult it is to find a passionately pink taffeta dress when you need one!

Hot Flash Voting

A friend of mine in another state told me she votes by mail because while in the voting booth, she gets a wee bit anxious and her anxiety triggers hot flashes.

 

Here in the state of Oregon, all voting is done by mail. Don’t want to mail your ballot, drop off boxes are located at libraries.  In tallying up the ballots, many of the workers wear gloves because some of the ballots are covered with food. Some of the ballots are hard to read because of coffee stains. The ballots come out 2 weeks before the election and people are at their leisure casting their vote. This is code for they may be eating at the same time.

 

My friend thinks Oregon is on to some thing great with their vote by mail. I personally miss the excitement of voting in person. I would suffer a day full of hot flashes to go to a voting booth. I always wanted to be one of those ladies outside the voting booth who takes your ballot. They always looked like they were having fun, eating cookies and coffee and talking with each other. They would scornfully look up the precinct when people didn’t know where to vote. I was asked once with perfect scorn “you don’t know what precinct you are in?”  Oh how I wanted that job!

 

Unless I move to another State or Oregon goes back to voting in person, my life career goal is gone, obsolete. The best I can do is stand in front of a drop off box sipping coffee eating cookies and hope someone will ask me the location of the box so I can make some scornful reply! 

On Line Community Goes Live

     Ever wonder what bloggers really look like from your favorite social net work sites? I am not talking about the posed picture they have next to their name, if that truly is their name, but a picture of what they look like when they are blogging. Many bloggers hit their favorite sites early in the morning or late at night, and don’t use their web cam for a reason!

 

     One of my favorite social networking sites is Women Etcetera, www.womenetcetera.com.

This site is geared for the woman over 50. It is a voice with topics on health, business, ‘Today in Herstory’, articles and of course blogs. This on line community is a wonderful group of women “embracing transitions and change”. They use their real names and write from their hearts. They are also brave enough to have a picture of themselves blogging.

 

     Like other online communities, Women Etcetera members want to meet each other in the flesh. They want to meet the other women that they now call friends. The first Women Etcetera conference was recently held in Pittsburgh, PA. It was so successful that the second full day conference will be November 15, 2008 in Raleigh, North Carolina.

If you can’t make it, check out the web site and join this wonderful virtual community.

 

 

Tie One On for The Giving Season

National Tie One on Day, an apron of course, is November 26, 2008. EllynAnne Geisel of Apron Memories, www.apronmemories.com, started this giving day tradition the day before Thanksgiving three years ago. She encourages embracing a “giving opportunity that has nothing to do with shopping or even getting into a car, but everything to do with our recognition of gratefulness  and our ability to give to someone in need of spiritual or physical sustenance.”

EllynAnne goes on to say “Women clad in aprons have traditionally prepared the Thanksgiving meal and it is with in our historical linkage to share our bounty”

 

 EllynAnne has become the patron saint of the Apron.

She writes about aprons, www.apronchronicles.com, exhibits aprons, and sews and sells aprons on her web site. Her aprons have become famous with the Desperate Housewives character Bree wearing one, to the recent article in Vogue magazine.

 

When I came across the Apron Memories site I was infatuated. My very first sewing project was an apron, and I have loved them and sewing ever since. After I read about EllynAnne’s ‘Tie One On Day’, I knew I had to get the word out. Join me and other apron wearing women spreading thanks the day before Thanksgiving.

Seeing Red

The first Ladies know the Power of Red

The Original Red Power Dress

Red is a powerful color. It is a color that gets your attention. It is associated with seduction, romance, and now a study from the University of Rochester shows men find women wearing red more attractive.

 

 

 

The study on men measured the affects of color in assessing a woman’s attractiveness, and red won. An interesting point from the study says that the men “were unaware that the color red turns them on”.

 

Don’t ask me why research and time was allotted to this study. I am just commenting on the results because red is my favorite color.

 

Pictures of the US Senate and Congress show many women members wearing red suits. Do they get along better with their male counterparts when dressed in Red? I thought it was just a powerful color, not easily overlooked before I read this study. If men find women wearing red more attractive a conclusion can be made that they will cooperate and collaborate more with their female counterparts.

 

Case in point, when President Elect Obama and Mrs. Obama met at the White House with President Bush and Mrs. Bush, both wives were in red dresses. Conclusions can be made that if you are a woman and need to get along with men, wear red. Going to a party and don’t know many people, wear red. A social or business meeting with not your favorite people, wear red. Mrs. Bush, Mrs. Obama, and Mrs. Claus know to wear red!

How to Survive Menopause with-out becoming a Felon: 8 Coping Tips

Hormone Replacement Therapy is an option for some women to get through the side effects of menopause. Prior to 2001 most women were put on HRT if they complained to their physician about menopausal side effects, and they stayed on it for 10-20 years. Now studies have shown HRT does not have the health benefits once thought and high dose and long term usage can have adverse effects.HRT at the lowest dose for the shortest amount of time is often now recommended for women who choose the HRT path of coping. Someone who has had estrogen positive breast cancer, HRT is not a viable option.
If you have tried every drug store or internet “solution” and find yourself out of more money than fewer side effects, here are some coping remedies:
1. Fans placed strategically everywhere you go. A small fan in your bathroom as you put on your make-up. Keep a personal fan at your desk for work. Place a small fan on the kitchen counter as you prepare food.
2. Keep your house and office thermostat set at cool. So what that your family and co-workers are wearing down jackets indoors, who cares?
3. Drink iced beverages at all times. Keep ice cubes handy. Drop one down your bra, or rub one at the back of your neck for an instant cool down.
4. Try to make hand held fans and parasols a fashion statement for you when venturing outside in warm sunny weather.
5. Do not fancy the notion of becoming a Vampire. Yes they seem always cool, they don’t go out much in day light but the undead is really not a viable option just to get through menopause.
6. If you are shopping for a new car, buy a convertible. If it rains or snow, just drive faster. If it is really hot outside and you must venture into it, be sure the car has air-conditioning. If you are not in the car buying market, drive with windows rolled down in winter and air conditioning on high all through spring summer and fall. If you take public transportation, sit close to the doors that open, or an open window.
7. Fashion tips from my previous Fashion blog: open toe shoes, wear layers with the first being a wicking layer, no wool, no turtle necks, no hose or socks or hats, waterproof make-up, carry or stash away an extra set of clothes and make-up .
8. You say a mantra that goes a little like this: I love my freedom, I am just menopausal, I do not want to go to jail, I am just menopausal, I do not want to pay attorney and court fees, I am just menopausal, I do not want to look like a crazy woman, I am just menopausal, I am a mature adult, I am a loving woman, I am just menopausal!

How to survive menopause with-out becoming a felon: Mental/Emotional

Menopause can cloud your judgment. Estrogen deprived brains, anecdotally speaking, can cause you to make some rash choices or to become incapable to make any choices. Often that sweet nurturing side of your personality is suddenly gone. You may find yourself crying often and frequently. Once you had a steel trap for a memory and now you wander into rooms wondering why. Many of your friends or family members or co-workers may notice these changes in your mental or emotional state. Some may even be brave enough to engage you in a conversation about the ‘new’ you.

Here are the signs that menopause has a firm grip of your brain and how to cope:

CRS, Can’t Remember Shit    

Write everything down. Do not say to yourself that you will remember, you will not! Write everything down on a note pad that you keep in the same spot in your purse or on your desk so you can check it often and frequently.

 Do not leave it to your phone because you will forget to charge your phone.

DGS, Don’t Give a Shit

You think you look better, younger, and sexier, than anyone else you know even when others may comment lovingly, critically or snidely to you about your dress, hair or overall appearance and you don’t care.

You think you used to be the smartest person in the room. You know that may not be the case because you can not remember some words or have become dependent on spell check but who cares?

You can not watch a beauty pageant, the Olympics, a Lifetime/Hallmark movie with-out sobbing. You hate criers at work and now there you are blubbering about someone’s story and you don’t care.

Mood Swings

Remember when you were a teenager and your own Mother was frustrated with your snotty attitude? No? Well she was and you didn’t know what set you off? Your hormones are fluctuating like that again. One day you are happy and satisfied and the next you are selling the house, leaving the family and job to eat chocolate in Paris!

Are people saying things like “You just need your morning coffee”? Do you have co-workers who only email you? Does your family ask “Why are you so sensitive?” Do you have some road rage? Have you gone Ape Shit in a public setting? Have you been arrested?

What can help? Try to get a good night sleep. Ask your Doctor for sleep medication. Not even when you were at the top of your game did you function well while sleep deprived! Try exercise of some kind. Whacking a ball in some sport or joining an exercise/dance class can help with the mood swings. Don’t self medicate with wine or drugs. Talk with friends your same age. Just know it is normal, you are not going crazy or becoming emotionally unbalanced; you are menopausal.

I am sure I forgot an important tip or sage advice but you can comment here.

 

 

How to Survive menopause with-out becoming a Felon: Fashion

Here are some tips that I want to pass along about fashion since I am still living free and still going through menopause. It has been touch and go at times. My inner voice says the most bizarre things but I know it is the menopausal estrogen deprived voice and I do not listen to it. I won’t even say that I would kill for a little estrogen. I know it is only the menopause talking.

1. Wear layers that you can peel off. This means a tank top or T-shirt, preferably wicking as your first layer. Second layer is a sweater or blazer or blouse. Do not peel off past the first layer!
2. Do not wear a crop top, belly shirt, tube top, a sheer blouse, or a sheer blouse over a tube top, or just your bra no matter how hot you are and think you can pull it off. You can not. Are you listening Trudie Styler?
3. Wear slacks with-out stockings. Loose fitting slacks or skirts that are not lined. Wear a skirt with-out stockings, tights or leggings unless it is winter and you are outside.
4. Do not wear a mini skirt (with-out tights or leggings) a kilt, a short dress or short shorts. Even if you think you have Rockette legs it is the menopause evil inner voice talking, do not listen. Remember do not forgo the panties.
5. Wear open toe shoes or peek-a-boo toes with-out stockings or socks for extra ventilation, year round. It may get chilly and damp but it will keep you cool so who cares.
6. Don’t wear hats. Hats keep in the heat, great in the winter but not for those having personal summers.
7. Wear your hair pulled up at the neckline. If you wear a short hairstyle keep it light at the nape of neck. If you wear a bob keep it over the nape of the neck. These precautions are for the sweaty neck and look of wet hair. No one wants to hear the question, “Did you just come from the showers?”
8. Do not wear Spanx or any other control foundation unless you are going to a party. Be sure to put on your make-up after you put on the Spanx. Plan on not going to the bathroom during the party because then you will have to yank them up and it will put you into a flash and there goes the make-up and hairdo!
9. Wear bright polish on your fingers and toes. They are the only things that won’t sweat off during a flash. All make-up must be water resistant and extra long lasting. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have to re-apply foundation, eye liner, eye-shadow, mascara, blush, and lipstick, only that it may not end up running all the way down your face after a few flashes.
10. Clean and put away your turtle necks, mock turtle necks and long woolen sleeved sweaters for a few years as you experience the long hot summers of year round menopause. Keep an extra top, bra, panties and slacks in your car, office, or briefcase, just in case these tips do not work-out.

If you follow my tips and do not listen to the evil menopause inner voice regarding fashion you will be safe from jail and life as a felon. No one will arrest you for indecent exposure. You won’t humiliate your children or spouse or co-workers with a fashion faux pas. More importantly you will not humiliate yourself!

How to Survive Menopause with-out becoming a Felon: Intro

My initial title was How to survive menopause with-out going to jail, but that seemed short sighted. A snarky remark to a policeman pulling you over for no apparent reason may result in a visit to jail. A shove back to an aggressive shopper may bring store or mall security and it is only protocol that everyone gets hauled into jail to sort things out. A shove forward to get your comments heard by your political favorite might be misunderstood and it is a ride to jail.

Becoming a felon means you have really stepped over the line. You have acted out regrettably in a way that can not be sorted out easily. You have become irrational. You have listened to your inner estrogen deprived voice and snapped. You may be reading this too late. For those of us clinging to our rational though estrogen deprived sanity, I write these words of advice. Full disclosure, my advice is from the point of view of someone who can not offset her menopause symptoms by hormones natural or otherwise.

Most women over the course of several years go through a phase called ‘peri-menopause’. This means little side effects are happening. Most women think something critical is wrong with them or it is stress. In reality more often than not, it is the start of menopause. Denial is one of the first side effects of menopause or peri-menopause. I liken the denial phase to the river The Nile. The banks are very lush, the water is very cool the area is very beautiful and if you could just live there in la-la land of denial, everyone and everything would be great!

Sooner or later, the denial phase does not make sense anymore. Maybe a friend, a spouse or co-worker mentions more than once that you are not quite yourself. Maybe you even have a self reflective non-denial thought and think that you are not yourself either. You start to wonder where the hell did you go and who has taken over your body and mind?

There are many wonderful web sites, books and resources available to find out everything about menopause. From the medical to the spiritual to the alternative to the myths, there is information out there. I am going to share in the following weekly posts the most important information and that is how to survive menopause with-out becoming a felon.  The biggest tip I can give overall is that your inner voice, that voice of rational reason may be compromised because of lack of estrogen, and you need to really truly absolutely positively think and think again before you act, lest you become a felon!

Next Week; How to Survive Menopause with-out becoming a Felon: Fashion

 

Not all Americans are Stupid you Idiot!

 

I was in a US airport recently. It was the Boston airport and my flight home to the West coast had been delayed. I took the opportunity to eat one more lobster roll and relax before the 6 hour flight home. If you are not familiar with a lobster roll it is lobster meat with maybe some mayonnaise on a hot dog bun. It is fantastic. I grew up in the Boston area and eat lobster as much as possible when I am back visiting. During the summer in Maine and Massachusetts, McDonalds will even have lobster rolls on their menus.

I was in one last lobster bliss stupor, watching baseball on the bar TV, enjoying myself completely when a woman next to me interrupted my reverie. She did not have an American accent and was holding out American coins wanting to know their values. Being a polite person, I engaged her in conversation about where she was from. She told me but with an attitude that I should know just from her accent. She then proceeded to go into a tirade about how stupid American coins are in relation to their size and denominations.

Again, let me state, I was having a pleasant time. How often does that happen when you are delayed in an airport? So I listened to her and told her she was over-thinking the whole money thing. I took her bill and looked at the money she had laid out and told her it was not enough. She was leaving all her change for a tip, amounting to about 5%. She went on about how Americans are so stupid because a nickel is bigger than a dime but is worth less and all the bills are the same size. Yeah, I had enough of her and wanted to get back to the baseball game and savor my lobster roll, but she wouldn’t stop harping.

I sized her up as not a fan of Americans. She was haughty, belligerent and from her tab, cheap. So what could I do? I told her to put down all her change and take another bill that had a big ‘5’ on it and put it on the counter. She asked if wasn’t that too much? I assured her it wasn’t and she did what I asked. I waited for the waitress to come over and collect the bill. She was still talking and going on and on so I had to tell her to take her skinny boney ass back to her country and get the hell away from me. I am patriotic after all. Rude is rude, what else could I do?? What would you do?

Have you had your Yearly Mammogram?

 9 years ago I went to see my Doctor for a routine check-up and mammogram. I was healthy, busy and didn’t give it a second thought. I thought like every other year the Doctor would say I was in excellent health. She didn’t. She told me to see a surgeon. She said my mammogram was read and it appeared to be textbook breast cancer. In a minute my life changed. I was 48 years old.

Digital mammography is fantastically fast. Before you get dressed the radiologist reads your mammogram and either sends you on your way, asks for another view, or recommends you see your physician.

Mammograms have come a long way from the big squish times. Yes the squish is still there but it is such a short amount of time you hardly feel it. When you are asked to hold your breath the procedure is so fast that you aren’t even gulping for air!

If you take 400 mg of Ibuprofen before your mammogram it does help take the edge off the tiniest discomfort. As far as pain, I am here to say cancer not only sucks but it hurts. A slight ouch from a mammogram is nothing in comparison to painful chemotherapy infusions, body aches and numbing fatigue.

If you say there is no breast cancer in your family, and you are healthy, read my first paragraph again. There is no known cause for breast cancer and no cure. If you are over 40 and especially if you have dense breast or someone in your family had breast or ovarian cancer, get your mammogram.

Many women are reluctant to have a mammogram because they are afraid of the results. The other excuses women give for not having a yearly mammogram is lack of insurance or the cost or the time. As far as the cost goes, the Komen foundation; komen.org can assist for some uninsured low income women. As far as the fear factor, when breast cancer is diagnosed early the survival rate is 98%. The time excuse, really do you have time for cancer??If you are insured it is a no brainer. How busy can you be in the grand scheme of life?

Life can change in a minute from an injury, illness, accident or sudden death. We all take precautions when we buy car insurance, or home insurance. We are being safe when we use our seat belt, or use our turn signals while driving. Why would we not take the same safety measures with our health and get a yearly mammogram?

October is breast cancer awareness month!

Breast Cancer Gene Debate

The BRACA 1 and BRACA 2 genes for hereditary breast cancer are the only genes currently diagnosable. This means if you are tested for the genes and you have it your chances of getting breast cancer increase greatly as well as your chance of ovarian cancer in your lifetime compared to the general public. But and here is the debate and the big ‘but’, you have to go through genetic counseling and take the genetic test to find out if you even have the genes.

To some women this seems straight-forward.  They know they have a history of breast cancer on their Father’s side and/or their Mother’s side of the family so they see the geneticist specializing in breast cancer found at major urban hospitals.

Let me put up the common road blocks that makes this situation anything but straight-forward; Money, time, insurance, and knowledge. 

The test will be administered after counseling which takes time.

The counseling is after a doctor recommends this to you which is insurance.

The test is not 100% covered by insurance which is the money component.

The knowledge component is the big roadblock for many women. What do you do if you find out you are positive for the gene? Remember the positive outcome of the gene does not say you will get breast or ovarian cancer, but that your chances are higher than the general public.

My opinion is that this is a very important issue for women who are in their mid 20’s and 30’s and are thinking of having children. If a woman in this age group tests positive she can make changes. She can opt to harvest her eggs for a later date, have children as soon as possible or opt to have prophylactic surgeries. These are not changes in diet, exercise or life-style changes, but life altering changes!

Currently there are 250,000 women living in the USA who were diagnosed with breast cancer before age 41. Usually their cancer is a more aggressive form. The financial burden and emotional costs of cancer are difficult to measure at any stage of life but even more difficult to measure in a young woman. Extrapolate this to a young woman who is healthy but has a family history. Do you push her to have the counseling and to take the test?

Many women give the reason why they don’t get a yearly mammogram is because they are afraid of the results. Ignorance is bliss is a common reason of non-action for many. With that in mind how would you react to the genetic counseling and test? What would you suggest to your friends, sisters, or daughter if they fit the criteria for genetic cancer?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pink Fatigue in October

October is breast cancer awareness month. Pink is the color associated with breast cancer. Many companies support breast cancer charities and research by changing the colors of their products to pink or put the pink ribbon trademarked by the Komen foundation on their products. So what is the big deal? The big deal is some people are sick of all the pink. Some people have ‘pink fatigue’, meaning the pink has lost impact on them. Some people think the color pink is too cute or too soft or too feminine to be representative of the breast cancer disease.

I don’t know why Komen picked pink to represent their logo, the ribbon, but they did. Their success with breast cancer awareness has snowballed all breast cancer charities and research to use pink in their marketing.

Some people are out raged that Komen.org, the largest charity in the world pays high salaries to their top employees. Some people are outraged that a company will put a cap on their matched donations of $500,000.00, $50.000.00 or $5,000.00 to breast cancer. Some people are outraged that Fast Food outlets will sell nutritiously bad food while donating a nickel per bucket to breast cancer.

Let me address some of these thoughts:

The treatments for breast cancer are; slash, burn and poison. There is nothing cute, soft or feminine about that!

Komen did not get to be the biggest charity by only using volunteers. Just because they are a nonprofit does not mean that their employees don’t get paid. Komen takes the millions of dollars they raise from around the world and fund research on drugs, treatment programs, mammograms and outreach programs. Almost all the drugs used in breast cancer treatment have been a result of Komen dollars.

A company willing to make any donation to Komen or breast cancer research is voluntary and they will get my dollars. Why not?

If you eat fast food in a bucket, and many do, why not have a nickel go to breast cancer research? You are not making the breast cancer patient or survivor eat it!

Here is the low down on breast cancer. There is no cure. There is no cause. The treatments can be barbaric and debilitating.  95% have no family history of breast cancer. The leading causes of breast cancer are being a woman and too many birthdays. 1 out 8 women will get breast cancer in their lifetime. Look around and count starting with me, a 9 year survivor, and count 8 more women in your life.

The next time you consider scoffing at the pink in October, ask yourself if your nickel or dime won’t help your sister, friend, daughter or self in the future?

A Brave New Woman

I am not a big fat baby when it comes to new adventures, but lately in comparison to my friends I am certainly in the running. Here is a list of what some of my friends are up to:

• Took a leave of absence and traveled alone for 2 months to South America with-out being fluent in Spanish!
• Quit her job and started a 3 year graduate school program at over 50 years old!
• Took a sabbatical to Europe, bought a car and drove through France and Italy by herself!
• Sold her home and moved to Mexico with-out being fluent in Spanish!
• Started her own business in a new service industry she developed!
• Joined a Dragon Boat Team and traveled to participate in races around the world after breast cancer treatments!

Yikes, right! Did I mention that these friends of mine are every day normal women?  No trust fund babies, Housewives of wherever, extreme thrill or sports junkies in the bunch. Women who through emails or over coffee mentioned to me casually in the same manner as they would say, “I am going to the mall instead of downtown to shop for some black pumps”, except they are doing these huge brave things!

Now we all have done some brave things or events from time to time, but these women are demonstrating a commitment to a new challenge that goes beyond doing a  zip line, walking over a bed of fire, taking up conversational Cantonese, starting a new job, ending a bad marriage or horseback riding! These women are demonstrating a new experience that only 1 out of not very many are willing to take.

 I think what makes my friends remarkable is their desire and willingness to go or do their  adventures by themselves.  How often have we heard someone say “If I had someone to do this  with or if I had the time I would do it”? These women were not held back waiting for that  someone or the perfect time. They left spouses, partners, children, pets, homes, careers and many exclamations of “Are you Crazy” to pursue their goal. Some said it was a lifetime goal, others a whim to seize the opportunity.

So here are my questions: Is there a brave new woman in all of us?

Have you become a brave new woman in the last few years?

Are you like me, almost a big fat baby?

 

The Plight of the Urban Gardener

My husband and I are big vegetable gardeners. If I am spending time growing something it better give me food. Sure we plant the flowers too, but that is just decoration for the vegetables. We have about 9000 square feet combined of raised beds garden in the front yard, back and side yards. The back and side yards are fenced, the front yard on my corner lot is not. We live up a ridge from the High School and on the corner of a walkers’ path. What this all means is that lots of folks walk by our home and yard.

I fight off the squirrels and the birds, as well as nosey neighbors but a new more difficult prey has besought my front garden, the teenager. Last Saturday around 8 AM my husband heard some talking and giggling out front. Being the nosey, alert person, he encountered 2 teenage girls with 3 of our squash in their arms! He asked them what they were doing and they told him they picked the squashes because it didn’t look like we were using them. My husband showed good sense in not explaining that squash need to stay on the vine until it dies down, but instead told them he wanted 2 back and gave them one. He also instructed them not to smash it. I thought he handled it well.

You don’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to deduce where the smashed squash remains 2 blocks away all over the road came from! These squash are a mutant of acorn and butternut and pumpkin, which I happened to plant all in the same bed. I said I love to garden not that I am very good at it! They are spherical shaped and green but turning orange and weigh about 4-5 pounds. I call them ‘Butt-Corns’. I have no idea how they will taste but we will eat them and we will like them. At any rate they are mine in my yard.

So if these teenage girls were not intimidated by a 6 foot tall man confronting them, the question remains how to protect our crops from this urban prey? I came up with a plan. I am yakking them to avoidance. That’s right; I have become the crazy lady in the corner house who starts talking and asking questions any time they walk past the house. Trust me I am not talking about anything that would engage them but I am giving the yak of urban legends; rabid squirrels, coyotes in the woods, and bona fide weirdoes in the neighborhood. It seems to be working. Yesterday I saw them walking on the other side of the street. I waved and asked them if they heard about the one arm homeless guy perving around the neighborhood? The kept on walking!

Have you had your home egged, TP, or vandalized by teenagers? What would you do?