Crying At Work

October 15, 2008 - One Response

 

The question is when is it acceptable to cry in the work place?

 

A friend of mine has told me she is just about menopausal and she is having emotional surges like her teenagers. She is crying more frequently, and being very short tempered. While her teenagers are quick to get over their outbursts, she still reels from her own for hours. The crying is the most troublesome and hardest to hide. How many times, does my friend tell me, can she say it’s just allergies? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying

I have been at meetings when the subject of death is addressed when one in our group has lost a husband, wife or child to disease or suicide. A collective tearing up in these circumstances is totally acceptable. I have noticed however, that many of the men remained stoic. Crying makes people feel uncomfortable, especially in my experience, men people.

 

I have seen co-workers make harsh comments to one another in meetings. Sometimes the recipient of the unkind words is stunned into silence, like a slap. Sometimes another co-worker comes to the defense and it turns into a verbal brawl. I have seen pounding on tables, throwing back chairs, standing up and shouting, throwing papers, ripping charts off walls, and getting red in the face, but I have never seen a man reduced to tears. I am not saying this is good or bad, it is just an interesting observation from my 30 years in the drenches of corporate America.

 

I used to work with a woman who cried frequently at meetings. It was a tough company, we were in sales, and you were expected to exceed your sales goals to keep your job. Men were the bosses and morale was not a consideration. Over the ten years I knew this woman, she cried at meetings when she was criticized, or when she was praised. She also cried at the Christmas party, and when she had too much to drink. In short she was a crier. In the ten years we worked together she maintained her job but she was not advanced, viewed as not able to handle pressure, and not being able to negotiate with difficult people. I heard others throw around the word ‘Drama Queen’ when referring to her. I know many did not want to work with her because she was disruptive with her crying. Crying elicits a need to comfort for many people. It is difficult to concentrate on work if you are busy comforting the crying person.  It is also difficult to ignore a crying person and stay on task. Looking back, I think she may have been PMS, post pregnancy, or peri-menopausal. Her hormones may have been running amok, or it was just part of her personality. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying_(song)

 

I think we have all had moments when we tear up in frustration or hurt feelings.

Not one condition or reason can be attributed to why a woman cries at work more than a man. I think a host of reasons trigger crying, menopause or hormone changes may just be some of the mix.

 

The conclusion I have reached is that it doesn’t do any one any good including the crier to cry at work. Go to the rest room, or walk outside your building, go to your car or someplace alone. Excuse yourself. Crying appears to be in the same genre as bawdy jokes. They can make some people feel uncomfortable, and give an air of an unprofessional demeanor. Don’t let your career be jeopardized by a few tears. No crying at Work!

What is your opinion?

 

 

 

Menopause Stardom

October 22, 2008 - One Response

Did you ever want to be in the movies? Who hasn’t had a bit of a fantasy to see themselves on the big screen, gorgeous backgrounds, exotic locations, costumes and make-up that make you look like a real live movie star?  Yes fantasies are great.

 

 Reality is more like in the movie Tootsie when they scream “Not too close” for the camera work in shooting Dustin Hoffman as Tootsie. This week I was able to participate in some of the fun of movie making. Hot Flash Havoc, www.hotflashhavoc.com, is the name of the film being made that I am privileged to be a part of. Since it is in documentary style, I am playing myself, a middle age menopausal woman. My naturopathic physician friend Kelly Jennings, www.urbanwellnesspdx.com, is also interviewed and filmed. Kelly treats effectively, and patiently many women with menopause and breast cancer symptoms. She is also young, smart and gorgeous! So my close up is Kelly giving me an acupuncture treatment. Yes indeed, I am the woman in repose with acupuncture needles all over her face, head and neck!

 

I was also interviewed about my story, the breast cancer/menopause/entrepreneur connection. This film has a fantastic concept; educate and entertain about the condition called Menopause. The movie is still in production and I will blog about it again, and again as the release date becomes closer and my close up for stardom nears.

Passionately Pink Pumpkins for The Cure

October 30, 2008 - Leave a Response

All Pinky

All Pinky

Komen has a program for the month of October, breast cancer awareness month, for companies to join in fund raising by wearing Pink. www.passionatelypink.org. The goal is to set a date and anyone who wants to wear the Pink in support for the Cure donates at least $5.00.

 

We took this fund raising challenge on a different bent with Passionately Pink Pumpkins for the Cure. We had so many table top pumpkins from our garden that we decided to decorate them with pink boa feathers and sell them as Passionately Pink Pumpkins for the Cure. Of course we wore pink in more of a Halloween/costume theme and had pink lemonade and pink cupcakes, because what is a pink fund raiser with-out pink cake?

 

The response was great and we raised $150.00 from our afternoon efforts. Next year we are planning for bigger response, more lead time and more cupcakes. No guarantee that the garden will produce an abundance of pumpkins again, but we can adapt with Passionately Pink Potatoes for the Cure, or even Passionately Pink Parsley for the Cure. We have a year to passionately plan.

 

My lovely dress was bought at the local Goodwill for $5.95. This was hand sewn and must have been a bride’s maid dress. The puffy sleeves and the bow in the back are the tell tale signs. A friend was looking for a princess dress just like mine to wear at the request of her 2 little boys for Halloween.  I am delighted to loan it to her for the evening because I know how difficult it is to find a passionately pink taffeta dress when you need one!

Hot Flash Voting

November 5, 2008 - Leave a Response

A friend of mine in another state told me she votes by mail because while in the voting booth, she gets a wee bit anxious and her anxiety triggers hot flashes.

 

Here in the state of Oregon, all voting is done by mail. Don’t want to mail your ballot, drop off boxes are located at libraries.  In tallying up the ballots, many of the workers wear gloves because some of the ballots are covered with food. Some of the ballots are hard to read because of coffee stains. The ballots come out 2 weeks before the election and people are at their leisure casting their vote. This is code for they may be eating at the same time.

 

My friend thinks Oregon is on to some thing great with their vote by mail. I personally miss the excitement of voting in person. I would suffer a day full of hot flashes to go to a voting booth. I always wanted to be one of those ladies outside the voting booth who takes your ballot. They always looked like they were having fun, eating cookies and coffee and talking with each other. They would scornfully look up the precinct when people didn’t know where to vote. I was asked once with perfect scorn “you don’t know what precinct you are in?”  Oh how I wanted that job!

 

Unless I move to another State or Oregon goes back to voting in person, my life career goal is gone, obsolete. The best I can do is stand in front of a drop off box sipping coffee eating cookies and hope someone will ask me the location of the box so I can make some scornful reply! 

On Line Community Goes Live

November 12, 2008 - One Response

_blogging-momentmg_4110     Ever wonder what bloggers really look like from your favorite social net work sites? I am not talking about the posed picture they have next to their name, if that truly is their name, but a picture of what they look like when they are blogging. Many bloggers hit their favorite sites early in the morning or late at night, and don’t use their web cam for a reason!

 

     One of my favorite social networking sites is Women Etcetera, www.womenetcetera.com.

This site is geared for the woman over 50. It is a voice with topics on health, business, ‘Today in Herstory’, articles and of course blogs. This on line community is a wonderful group of women “embracing transitions and change”. They use their real names and write from their hearts. They are also brave enough to have a picture of themselves blogging.

 

     Like other online communities, Women Etcetera members want to meet each other in the flesh. They want to meet the other women that they now call friends. The first Women Etcetera conference was recently held in Pittsburgh, PA. It was so successful that the second full day conference will be November 15, 2008 in Raleigh, North Carolina.

If you can’t make it, check out the web site and join this wonderful virtual community.

 

 

Tie One On for The Giving Season

November 18, 2008 - Leave a Response

National Tie One on Day, an apron of course, is November 26, 2008. EllynAnne Geisel of Apron Memories, www.apronmemories.comsmoochie the apron, started this giving day tradition the day before Thanksgiving three years ago. She encourages embracing a “giving opportunity that has nothing to do with shopping or even getting into a car, but everything to do with our recognition of gratefulness  and our ability to give to someone in need of spiritual or physical sustenance.”

EllynAnne goes on to say “Women clad in aprons have traditionally prepared the Thanksgiving meal and it is with in our historical linkage to share our bounty”

 

 EllynAnne has become the patron saint of the Apron.

She writes about aprons, www.apronchronicles.com, exhibits aprons, and sews and sells aprons on her web site. Her aprons have become famous with the Desperate Housewives character Bree wearing one, to the recent article in Vogue magazine.

 

When I came across the Apron Memories site I was infatuated. My very first sewing project was an apron, and I have loved them and sewing ever since. After I read about EllynAnne’s ‘Tie One On Day’, I knew I had to get the word out. Join me and other apron wearing women spreading thanks the day before Thanksgiving.

Seeing Red

December 3, 2008 - One Response

The first Ladies know the Power of Red

The first Ladies know the Power of Red

The Original Red Power Dress

The Original Red Power Dress

Red is a powerful color. It is a color that gets your attention. It is associated with seduction, romance, and now a study from the University of Rochester shows men find women wearing red more attractive.

 

 

 

The study on men measured the affects of color in assessing a woman’s attractiveness, and red won. An interesting point from the study says that the men “were unaware that the color red turns them on”.

 

Don’t ask me why research and time was allotted to this study. I am just commenting on the results because red is my favorite color.

 

Pictures of the US Senate and Congress show many women members wearing red suits. Do they get along better with their male counterparts when dressed in Red? I thought it was just a powerful color, not easily overlooked before I read this study. If men find women wearing red more attractive a conclusion can be made that they will cooperate and collaborate more with their female counterparts.

 

Case in point, when President Elect Obama and Mrs. Obama met at the White House with President Bush and Mrs. Bush, both wives were in red dresses. Conclusions can be made that if you are a woman and need to get along with men, wear red. Going to a party and don’t know many people, wear red. A social or business meeting with not your favorite people, wear red. Mrs. Bush, Mrs. Obama, and Mrs. Claus know to wear red!

Where the Deer and the Antelope are Eaten

November 9, 2009 - Leave a Response

I have a neighbor who hunts as a hobby. He is a vegetarian because of health concerns. He hunts and gives us his bounty. He is a very meticulous person a very good hunter, and a great neighbor. Vegetarians and members of PETA stop reading this blog, it is not for you. Those of us who eat meat and fish, you may continue to read this blog. antelope

The first time he brought us an antelope the kitchen ended up looking like a horror film. My adorable apron ended up looking like evidence from a murder scene. This year we were prepared for his successful hunt and implemented an efficient cut and wrap operation. Antelope meat is lean and delicious. It is wild so I don’t know what it eats but not intentional antibiotics and hormone feed. It tastes like lean beef. It does not taste like chicken.

Last year he came to our door and asked if we were sick of salmon? That would be no, to fresh wild salmon from the Pacific Ocean. Dungeness Crab? Yes he goes crabbing and shares with us after he cooks and cleans them. I did mention that he is great at his hobby. Antelope, fresh wild salmon, and Dungeness crab are delicious exotic and expensive foods. I am so lucky to have a neighbor that keeps my family in food for months. He can pursue his hobby and know it is well appreciated. How many other hobbyists can say the same? Another bird house from Cousin Fred? Another knitted toilet paper cover from Aunty Min?

Living An Unplanned Life

October 26, 2009 - Leave a Response

 I have always been organized and never a procrastinating person. I had a Pajama Partyplan for my career, my vacations, and my life. You can imagine my surprise when I received an invasive aggressive breast cancer diagnosis. Breast cancer was not in my plans. It wasn’t even on my radar. I was forced to open up my plan book and add a new chapter.

As breast cancer awareness month winds down I wonder how many other women felt like me? How many other families had to cancel vacations, alter their roles, or give up careers? How many other women added not a new chapter to their life but a whole new book as I did? I never would have thought that my breast cancer diagnosis would lead me to a new career path. A life threatening diagnosis can bring out different responses in different people. For me the response was to look at this life plan I had and not just edit it but start fresh. Starting my own Sleepwear Company, www.haralee.com gave me a new path, purpose and career. To be able to be my own boss, to be able to do something that helps others and to be able to give back to charity is the new plan for my life.

Change is difficult but achievable. Change in health, family, career, and income can all cause stress to a well planned order life. The joy is taking the changes and making a fuller life. I wish all breast cancer survivors the joy of survivorship in their new lives.

Macy’s Steps Up its Charity Presence

October 19, 2009 - Leave a Response

Last week-end was “Shop for A Cause” at Macy’s. Macy’s stores let charities sign up for a table at store entrances where the charities sold for $5.00 a coupon pass good for that day. All the proceeds went to the charity. A win-win situation. Macy’s gets more customers in their stores to use their coupons and the charities profit from the sales with little expense. I signed up the charity I am involved with, the Clara Jean Foundation, a holistic approach to breast cancer, http://www.clarajean.org/Ribbon, for the day shift.

Since it was our first year we did not know what to expect. We didn’t come prepared. Next year we will be better prepared from what we learned from other charities that have done this promotion.

  Here is what we learned:

1. Dogs, especially big dogs will stop a shopper in her tracks

2. A couple of  cute teenage well mannered boys roaming the store asking customers if they need help with their packages and selling the coupons on the spot at the registers.

3. 12-13 year old determined young girls stopping and selling to customers

4. Cooking demonstrations with samples.

5. Cookies, candy, balloons, dog treats, wrist bracelets, teething cookies.

6. Bag/Coat check station

7. Resting chairs with portable TVs incase there is a game

8. Chair Massages

9. Raffle to win something, anything

10. Cheer Leaders

We have a year to come up with our plans and we will be better prepared for next year. My thoughts go to pink balloons, cheerleaders, pink cookies, breast cancer wrist bands, chair massage, and maybe even flu shots!  I am really impressed with Macy’s commitment to support not only national but local charities too. The coupons were fantastic. Boy did I get some great buys on presents for the Holidays!

Will you dress up for Halloween and Breast Cancer this Year?

October 12, 2009 - Leave a Response

 October is breast cancer awareness month and as the month advances, more Lou in Passionately Pink for the Curethought is given to Halloween than Breast Cancer. What if we combined the two? How about dressing up as the pink ribbon, or the pink crusader? What about Racey for the Cure all in Pink? Of course Pink Fairies, Pink Queens, Pink Witches, Little BoPink are all viable combination options. Will you dress in costume for work? On October 16th, American Airlines is encouraging their employees to dress up in pink for the cure. Susan G Komen for the Cure has a program, “Passionately Pink for the Cure”. This program encourages companies to fund raise, show your passion for the cure and manifest it by wearing of the pink. Sounds like a pink Halloween party to me! Kids, or grandkids, are never too young to instill social responsibility and still have fun. Why not a pink theme family holiday? Many schools no longer have Halloween parties but have harvest festivals. Can you see pink scarecrow costumes, pink farmers, pink Dorothy with the red slippers? Adorable! Have fun and support breast cancer awareness through-out October.

A Menopausal Rant on some Recent Medical Studies

October 5, 2009 - Leave a Response

 If you have been reading the papers or various medical journals lately a few studies jump out from the page.

How about this one from the ‘American Academy of Sleep Medicine’,

“Biological clock out of sync in patients being treated for breast cancer with chemotherapy”?

You Think!

The study goes on to say that psychological factors such as stress, pain, depression, napping and more could be contributing factors. DUH!In the Journal of Nature, “Gene therapy fixes colorblind monkeys”.

The study tells us that 7% of male Americans have red-green colorblindness, which is the inability to see a difference between shades of the two colors.

I am riveted to read more on how this research can help all humans. Let me say the researchers note that “Colorblindness is not life threatening”. They also acknowledge that gene therapy has risks of actually causing cancer and other life threatening complications. So…….?

 In the Archives of Internal Medicine, “Defibrillators do little for women”.

A recent study showed that the devices do little for women in preventing them from dying of heart failure. This is one more study showing gender difference in regards to heart disease. Historically large studies have been on men with the results applied to women. So now once and for all can we say ‘What is good for the goose is good for the gander’ is a stupid saying?

 

This relates to Breast Cancer How?

This relates to Breast Cancer How?

Ways to become involved with the cause of Breast Cancer Awareness

September 28, 2009 - Leave a Response

October is National Breast Cancer awareness month, so all month long there are opportunities to raise your own BC IQ and enlighten others.Ribbon

1 out 8 women in the United States will have breast cancer in her lifetime.

40,000 women in the United States died from breast cancer last year.

There is no cure for breast cancer. There is no definitive cause for breast cancer.  You know you are cured from breast cancer when you die of something else. The top two causes for breast cancer are being a woman and having too many birthdays. Research is encouraging, but slow. The question remains:

Will you see a cure for breast cancer in your lifetime? In your daughter’s?

 Here are a few things you can do to make a world with-out breast cancer, one day closer.

 Schedule your mammogram

Encourage some one who has not got a mammogram to schedule it

 October 16th is National Mammography Day

 Donate to the Susan G Komen for the Cure, or any BC charity

http://www.komenforthecure.org/

 October 2, 2009 is Lee National Denim Day. Wear jeans, and donate $5.00

http://www.denimday.com/

 Join the Army of Women. Dr. Susan Love and Avon look for the Cause.

http://www.armyofwomen.org/

 Shop with companies that donate to breast cancer research. Such as;

http://www.haralee.com/, http://www.newbalance.com/, http://www.coldwatercreek.com/

and many more. Be a conscientious consumer.

The Power of The Pink T-Shirt

September 23, 2009 - Leave a Response

43,000 people joined together for the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure this

30 Strong!

30 Strong!

Sunday in Portland Oregon. A beautiful sunny morning brought thousands touched by breast cancer a warm feeling of hope. Hope for the Cure, Hope for the Cause, Hope for the Healing. 43,000 people gave up their normal Sunday morning activities to show their support for curing breast cancer. My company had a team again this year, Team Haralee. Team members are made up of survivors of breast cancer and the ugly stepsister of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and their families and friends. Our Donation goal, above the $25.00 entrance fee, was met this year! Survivors wear a pink commemorative T-shirt. Non survivors wear a commemorative white T-shirt. Watching a sea of pink and white T-shirts is a very powerful image. Special attention is given to pink shirt wearers. There was a survivor tent with special goody bags filled with socks and tea and shoelaces and coupons from National Komen sponsors for all survivors. Deference was given to pink shirted women. Survivors were sent to the head of the line for samples, even the line for the port-a-potties. For a few hours at this special event the Power of the Pink T-Shirt is honored. Those participating with the Race for the Cure understand the physical, mental, emotional, and fiscal costs of survivorship and show their respect and love. It is a celebration and a memorial and a very powerful event. Oregon and Washington have the highest rates of breast cancer in the country. With a dubious honor like that, Komen was able to chase out 43,000 people to support the Race for the Cure. I just wonder why not 100,000 or 200,000 people? Maybe next year there will be a cure, or a cause. We all hold on to the Hope.

GPS Needed For Cemeteries

September 15, 2009 - Leave a Response

With the ease of GPS and Google Maps on our laptops, Blackberries and cementeryphones, getting lost is really about poor preparation these days. If you do find yourself not knowing the correct address or zip code or with-out modern technology, some one is usually about with a phone or GPS that can help. That said; have you gone to a cemetery lately to try and find the grave of a relative?

If you frequent the graves of your loved ones often, you are all set. You know where they are, and you know how to find them. No alternate road detours or new tombstones are going to deter you from your destination. If you don’t go to the cemetery but once a year or less, it can be a challenge to find the grave you seek.

Picture a beautiful sunny day, and you and your family decide with flowers in hand to visit the grave of a loved one. Road construction makes you take an unfamiliar road into the cemetery. There is a service going on down the road so to be respectful you park what you think is a short distance away and start walking toward the grave site of your dearly departed. 20 minutes later you are still walking. The flowers are going limp, the family is getting cranky, you are sweating and still no success on your destination. You see a black large tombstone and hurry your walk certain you are close, but no, it is new. In fact there are several new tombstones and trees and unfamiliar landmarks. Wouldn’t this be a good time for Cemetery GPS?

No Gluten Free, Sugar Free, Nut Free, Vegan, Kosher Cookies Here

September 8, 2009 - Leave a Response

As a menopausal woman my ranting can be attributed to a meno-rage. I may get some back talk from writing about this issue, but I feel compelled to vent. When did meetings start requiring food as part of the agenda? When did bringing snacks for a meeting become acceptable? Why do I have a file on who can eat what?Foods

If I have to listen to one more person go on and on about their food allergies and food issues and have to try to order or prepare snacks, lunch or dinner with or for them, I will crack! Please note: If you have various food issues do not make a meeting for lunch, dinner or over coffee. Make your diet restrictions clear before someone goes to a lot of trouble preparing food. Remember a meeting is perfectly acceptable with-out food and beverages. Let me repeat myself, a business meeting is acceptable with-out food and beverage consumption. No one will perish from thirst after a 60 or 90 minute meeting.

I understand that many people must adhere to a gluten free diet. I feel badly for the people with the food allergies to peanuts, red dye, corn, legumes, shell fish, strawberries, etc. I respect those people who are vegan and vegetarians because of their moral beliefs. I admire those who for medical and health reasons are vegans and vegetarians. I am akin to people who have a restricted diet for religious beliefs. I am compassionate with the diabetics.

All I am saying is that the few of us left who can and do eat freely at will don’t want to be coveted, hear sanctimonious lectures, or starred/drooled at our food choices. Meetings can start and conclude before or after a meal time. If snacks are present, if some one brought in some thing special, eat it or don’t, but continue to work. The sooner we can effectively conclude the meeting the sooner we can eat food and drink beverages of our own choices!

Don’t Wait for the FDA concerning BPA

August 31, 2009 - Leave a Response

Do you remember the advice Dustin Hoffman’s character in ‘The Graduate’ received? “The Future is in Plastics!”

Well it turns out that plastic has changed the world but it also is linked to cancers in the breast, brain and testicals. The FDA is reviewing (again) new studies on Bisphenol A (BPA), on whether the chemical is safe for use in food and beverage containers.

BPA is the same chemical banned in Canada for its use in baby bottles. Canada has declared BPA a toxin. Many states and cities in the USA have banned the sale of baby bottles and sippy cups made from BPA.

The appeal of BPA is that it makes clear plastic hard. The problem besides the cancer links is that the chemical is found in urine samples of 90% of all Americans according to the National Resources Defense Council. A study from the University of Cincinnati showed that BPA leeches from bottles when heated. A University of Missouri researcher, Fred Von Saal, states “There is no such thing as safe microwavable plastic”.

So what is a person to do? A good start is to stop heating up food in plastic in the microwave. Invest in glass containers for storage and freezing. Also rethink that bottled water left in your car that you refill. Invest in the stainless steel thermos.

The GraduateWhen a family member asks what you want for your Birthday, your anniversary or Chanukah, or Christmas, say, “The Future is in Glass!”